In the meantime, ponder-ponder the following theory about puppet masters and Twenty-First Century string-pulling. It’s lengthy, but it’s quite the little gear-spinner. -GA

lather-rinse-retreat:

My own theory on who’s running the Dangerverse Twitter accounts. I made a post like this a few months ago, but it went largely unobserved and is now horribly out of date, not to mention I still wasn’t so sure about it back then; so I decided to just make a better one and tag it with ALL the tags hoping that people read it this time. Note that this is just a theory, it hasn’t been confirmed by anyone yet, and I highly encourage anyone who reads this and doesn’t agree with me to message me about it so we can discuss theories together, which is one of my favourite things to do.

Also note: this is going to be a long post because I’m determined to get everything I know in one place instead of having to search for a thousand different posts and screenshots. And speaking of screenshots, this post is going to have lots of those too. Sorry about that.

Okay, here’s my theory: Shaun Simon controls the Twitter accounts. All of them.

Except for Party Poison (who I’m fairly sure is Gerard) and I hate to admit it, but I’m not too sure about Dr. Death Defying either because I haven’t been able to find anything that links them. But I am reasonably sure about the others, so let’s get started.

But first of all, the basics. Who is Shaun Simon?

This dude right here. You might recognise him from those awkward photos a fashion blog took of him and Gerard while they were innocently taking a walk (and, I suspect, coming up with new insanely amazing ideas). He was in Pencey Prep with Frank, and later on did merch for MCR on tour. He’s also a writer.

Why is he important? I said he’s a writer. One thing he has written is a short story, Snowman, which you should go read right now; one thing he’s writing is a comic book called Danger Days: the True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, with Gerard Way that they should really start working on because I need it to be out right now.

Why have I never heard of him before? For some reason I don’t understand, most people seem to be completely oblivious of his existence and his role in the creation of the Dangerverse. If you follow me, you’re probably aware that I’m a huge fan of the guy (in the same way that I’m a huge fan of Steven Moffat: I love the way his brain works and even though I often get frustrated and confused because of him, I still admire him and I’m very jealous of his talent) and I think he deserves way more attention than he gets.

Now that you know who I’m talking about, let’s see why I think he’s the criminal mastermind behind the whole Twitter nonsense. Apart from the obvious reasons, which are that a. it’s easier to have just one person manage the accounts and b. it’s easier to have one person who is actually involved in the project manage the accounts, it all started with this:

Those tweets were made on the day the video for Na Na Na came out (also my birthday), and that was the first time I actually noticed Shaun Simon. I only barely knew who he was (oh how things have changed since then), but I decided to pay more attention to him and started lurking on his Twitter (that’s how I first found out about the next level, which will be important later). I noticed that in July of 2010, he tweeted this:

Which seems to be just a random quote by some guy named Terry Phillips (who I’m not even sure is a real person), and in fact he did tweet a lot of them, but nothing is ever that simple and this particular quote is especially significant because Mandog Mandart is mentioned in two of the posts on Steak Grenade, the blog Agent Cherri Cola’s Twitter bio links to. And Shaun himself has “advertised” that blog a few times:
Only the blog was created in March of 2011, and the tweet was made in 2010… At this point I would like to add that I have no idea what anything on that blog is supposed to mean, or how it relates to the Dangerverse. But anyway, let’s get back to Agent Cherri Cola:

That’s another huge clue (and isn’t it funny how he said “Don’t think you have a clue” right afterwards?). That John guy, who Agent Cherri Cola retweeted, is more commonly known as Hambone. He was in Pencey Prep as well and of course, Shaun follows him on Twitter too. 

Moving on:This one may not mean anything, but they both said ‘Pop!’ and in my mind, it makes sense for News A Go Go to say it (the way I see it, it’s like a way to end a transmission, since it’s supposed to be a radio station), but I don’t know why Shaun would say it out of the blue like that. It would be another very weird coincidence if two completely unrelated people had said the same thing on two different days, no? It was easier for me to just think it was the same person, and as time went by I started thinking he wasn’t even trying to hide it anymore. Like that time Tommy Chow Mein sent me a picture of pandas breathing/throwing up rainbows (fucking life accomplishment there, I’m telling you) and a few days later Shaun used it as his profile picture:

Or like that time he @mentioned one of the Dangerverse accounts:

Fourth wall? What fourth wall?!

(And by the way, that old man in the picture? Looks familiar to me. Remember this?I could be wrong about that, though. I just wanted to mention it in case someone knows what the hell it means. I remember people discussing calendars in relation to that picture, but if I knew anything else about it, I’ve forgotten it now.)

It’s just… You can’t tell me these are all coincidences. I’d believe it if it had happened just once, but all these times? No. Plus, you know how I said Tommy Chow Mein sent me that picture of the pandas? Want to know my secret on how I got him to acknowledge my existence? 

That’s right, I just had to casually mention something I’d found on Shaun’s page (and yes, I realise it’s creepy, but all’s fair in love and war mindfucks) and just like that, he replied to me. Did he just reply because he noticed how desperate I was? Is this just another coincidence? I like to think it isn’t, but you’re welcome to disagree with me and let me know in my ask box and we can discuss it together!

And more coincidences: most of the Dangerverse account have been tweeting via iPhone or iPad, except for Dr. D’s videos, which are always tweeted via web (I haven’t checked every single tweet, but I went back to January and this seems to be the general rule). Now I’m not stupid, I know everyone in the world except for me owns an iPhone or iPad or both, and that this doesn’t really prove anything, but still… 

And that picture of all the accounts in one place (which was originally posted by Tommy Chow Mein) is a screenshot from an iPhone… posted via iPhone as well.

I think for now, this is all I have (and thank God, because it took me two whole days to finish this goddamn post). I really hope that people do read it this time, but if you don’t, it’s your loss, and I’m only going to laugh at you in a few months when it turns out I was right all along (unless it turns out I wasn’t, in which case I’m going to hide forever and stop making theories). If you agree with me, disagree with me, are confused and want me to explain something, or just want to discuss theories with me, feel free to drop me an ask – anon is always on –, because (as should be obvious by now) if there’s anything I love, it’s discussing theories with people.

And if you’re Shaun Simon and happen to stumble across this, I would be so unbelievably grateful if you wanted to let me know if I’m right or wrong. (A girl can dream, right?)